divorce, deception, despair

i could have been taken out by all of it, but, here i still am. i’ve watched the God who redeems and restores walk out miracles and create wholeness + healing in my life that aren’t meant for quiet places and safekeeping.

it’s for sharing. for encouraging. for carrying on.

a kansan who’s been engaged three times. had three last names, been a resentful, unforgiving wife. a depressed mother. a mess.

but, God.

a sneakerhead who drives a minivan. a life that’s a mix between the suburban and the urban. somewhere in there is a fierce advocate for the underdog who has a strong sense of justice. a powerful commitment to building community, and never leaving anyone out.

behind the jordans and the dresses + blazers, hoodies + shorts, kids games and laughter with my husband, is that nine year old whose brother died and whose peers decided she’d be the target of their adolescent torment.

so when i sit with the bullied kid who feels too much and not enough-i empathize.

when i sit with the betrayed who feels too much and not enough- i empathize.

when i sit with the wounded by the church they loved so much- i empathize.

when i sit with the remarried who are committed to a new story for themselves and their children- i empathize.

the professional who lost themselves in their colleagues accolades, or striving for a space at that invite-only event - i empathize

and the men + women who believe there’s more to life than what they’ve been through- i empathize.

i don’t have all the answers, but i’m willing to search and find them with you.

so when you ask about me, i’m going to remind you it’s not.

and it never has been.